Motivation

What did you learn too late in life?

Over-trusting = Betrayal.

Masturbation = Loss of energy.

Stress = Hair loss.

Over-thinking = Depression.

Saying NO = Important.

Revenge = Ruining our own life.

Observing = Increase in wisdom.

Forgiving= Healing.

Letting go = Peace of mind.

Practical Ways to Battle Your Sexual Temptations

When someone confesses or is caught in an affair one of the first things they say is something to this affect, “I didn’t mean it.” Or “She/he meant nothing to me.” In other words they end up in a place they never wanted to be. Most people don’t set out to cheat on their spouse. It all starts small. It begins with a thought that goes uncontested, perhaps even nurtured into a fantasy. Those thoughts grow into an attitude and then the attitude grows into a disposition. That disposition erodes boundaries and clouds our sense of right and wrong.

This is difficult for most men. Our DNA is pre-loaded with the strong instinct to feel attraction and desire, yet life and morality demand that we are able to control those instincts. So how do we do that? For the sake of our marriages, relationships, or just spiritual well-being, we need to be able to find the answer. You are in a battle against sexual temptations and it’s important to win early. Here are 10 ways to battle sexual temptation.

1. Avoid tempting situations.

Winning early means staying away from traps. The last thing you want to do is find yourself alone with the object of your unhealthy desires, whether it is images or actual people. If contact with that person is a must, then make sure it is always in a public space and others are around. Set boundaries surrounding your phone, the computer, and TV. Find a partner who is willing to help you with accountability.

2. Consider the consequences.

Consider the consequences

When you think of the object of desire, think about the consequences of your actions. If it is outside of your marriage and not your partner with whom you want to get involved, then question yourself honestly if this will hurt the relationship or not. What would the response be? How would it feel? If it ruins your marriage will you be okay with that?

While pondering the object of your desire, also ponder the consequences of action. Is it going to help or hurt your marriage? How would your wife respond if she knew? Think about where your actions can lead and then imagine your wife finding out. Do you want to deal with the fallout? Always think of the end game. Where do you want to be? Are your thoughts and actions leading you there?

3. Avoid pornography.

It is not legal in India and it also leaves a fake impression. It is not at all real and the voices and the facial expressions etc are all staged. It is very unrealistic and it can have a very negative impact on you, leaving you with certain psychological problems. It can only lead to destruction unless it is just once in a blue moon that too with your partner. In a marriage, watching it on your own is considered cheating.

Besides the obvious reasons that avoiding porn will help guard against lust, there are psychological reasons as well. Porn creates unrealistic expectations and desensitizes our minds towards our spouses. They can’t possibly live up to what is viewed, and would we even want them to? This pushes the focus of your sexual desires outside of the home and can only lead to paths of destruction.

4. Use social media with caution.

There are many benefits of social media, but there are just as many pitfalls. We are reunited with people from our past and introduced to those who are new. Old sparks can be renewed or new ones can be lit. For a married man, this can be extremely perilous. Always remain alert to true intentions when using social media.

5. Question your intent.

When your mind wanders sexually (outside marriage) it is not pure sex that you seek. What you truly are looking for is that missing piece of puzzle of your life. It could also be your subconscious way of dealing with something that has been bothering you for long. It could be a way of escapism as well. Figure out the root cause and work on that.

Most times, when our minds wander sexually, we aren’t really seeking pure sex. We are seeking to replace something missing in our lives and our relationships. It could also be that we are trying to distract ourselves from dealing with something difficult. For each man, these things will be specific to his experiences. Figure out the root issue and work to correct it.

6. Practice sexual intimacy.

“When our minds and hearts are occupied in the right place, sexual lust has little room to operate. ”While there is no way to go back to how you felt when your relationship was new, there are certainly plenty of ways to regain that level of relational excitement. Improving communication, date nights, passionate kissing and thoughtful gestures are just a few examples. When our minds and hearts are occupied in the right place, sexual lust has little room to operate.

You cannot go back to the way you felt earlier in your relationship when all was rosy and all you had was sex, it is important that you work on sexual intimacy again. You must regain that excitement level, improve your communication, and revive those passionate gestures. This will help improve your sexual intimacy.

7. Pray consistently.

Prayer is the act of communicating your thoughts, worries, hopes and dreams to God. Lift up the desires you are feeling and ask for help. God made you and knows you and can deliver you time and time again.

8. Choose your friends wisely.

When battling sexual temptation, there are plenty of people we can find that will encourage and enable it. You can still be their friend, but by all means, avoid joining them in their poor relational choices.

9. Keep high standards.

To be a gentleman is a choice. A very good choice, and this world today needs many more. Despite the vast amount of temptations that life throws our way, we should hold ourselves to the highest of moral standards. Self-discipline in all areas of our life leads to positive results.

10. Redirect your passion.

Rather than being controlled by untamed lust, direct that passion in positive directions. Use that energy to brainstorm about ways you can bless your wife. Perhaps focus on things that will make the world better like volunteering at a homeless shelter. Coach a youth sports team. Mentor troubled individuals.

11.Mediation & other effective methods

To control your urge at the wrong time and the wrong place, there are some ways that have proven to be effective for some people. You can always meditate and practice mindfulness, concentrating on your breathing, go to the gym or any other form of exercise etc. This helps channel your energy for something else.

12.Think of some chores

Sometimes the sexual urge is so intense that no matter what the place is and the situation is, you just want to do it. The only way to distract yourself is by involving yourself in different chores. Hunt for some work, something that needs to be done and taken care of. This will be the only way that can help you deal with the frustration in that given moment.